There's a saying that I love to quote...
"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...it's about learning to dance in the rain"
I love that quote! For a girl who has taken numerous years of dance classes..the dancer in me loves this quote. But there's another reason I love this quote.
Throughout this blog, and in my life in general...there is something that I've struggled with that I want to take some time and talk about right now. My struggle? Anxiety.
Go back to the beginning of this blog and look through my story. Anxiety has been laced through my life for many years. No matter if it is spawned by hormones, circumstances, or just plain worry...anxiety has become (sadly) a part of my life. The crazy thing is, in a weird way, I feel like I am in a unique position. You see, I've had so many friends who have battled with anxiety and depression. I have friends who continue to struggle with anxiety and depression. But where I'm unique...is that I've learned ways to make my anxiety less invasive in my life. Each time I battle through it, I come out a little bit stronger.
As I've mentioned before, during my senior year of college, I went on birth control medications that caused me to become very depressed. It was one of the worst experiences of my life. But...as I went through that time in my life, I got to see first hand how some other people in life deal with friends and loved ones who are dealing with anxiety. A few months after ending the birth control and returning to "normal" (or as close to that as possible), one of my good friends in college began saying and doing some very scary things. The things she was saying and doing sounded familiar...because I had just gone through those same thoughts a few months earlier. I knew what she was dealing with. I printed of 4 different lists of symptoms for "How to know if someone is depressed"...and highlighted the ones that she was portraying...which turned out to be most of the lists. I knew what she was going through. And then I started turning to other friends to help me help her. And that's where things ended. No one believed me. One person even told me that I'm not a psychologist and am unable to diagnose someone else's problems. I felt defeated. Here it is I felt like I had such a good possibility of helping this friend...and didn't feel like there was much of anything that I could do.
As I've continued to battle anxiety in my own life, I've started trying to pick up on some of my thoughts and actions as I go. My goal for the last several years, has been to find a way to educate the common public on anxiety. Where I felt defeated with my friend in college...doesn't mean that all hope is lost for everyone. That's my unique position.
Here's the thing, though. There's a lesson I have to teach my students as a teacher many times. The lesson that you are not able to change another person. So many times in many classrooms that I've been in, I have students complaining about another classmate. "But SHE did that" or "HE did this". It's a tough lesson to learn that there is very little you can do to change another person.
If you're battling anxiety, the changes start with YOU. I'm still working on my thoughts on how to educate others. Sadly, some people just don't get it. They think anxiety and depression is something that can be magically switched on and off. Or they think that somehow they'll be able to just say 3 magic words and everything will be better. Or they'll only want to DO something. Anxiety is a battle of the mind. I'm here to tell you...there's not much that someone can do for you on the outside. Hugs are nice for some people. But a hug isn't always going to cure the whirlwind of thoughts circling through your mind.
So...stop waiting for the storm to pass. Stop waiting for the next drug to come out to get on. Stop waiting to find the counselor that will help you. Just STOP.
And start dancing in the rain.
Do the tough stuff. Get up. Get going. Dance.
Using my favorite analogy...dance...here are a few of my suggestions. If you are currently battling anxiety...here are some of my suggestions. Because the healing is going to start with YOU.
1. Be Prepared.
The first form of "dance" I ever took was actually a baton twirling class. My passion for dance started at a small dance studio and a dream of being a high school majorette back when I was in grade school. I took baton for several years, and eventually learned how to simultaneously twirl 2 batons. Right before middle school began, it was decided that the baton class at our studio was going to end. We would be performing at one final recital before the program was going to come to an end. The routine we were doing required us to march onto the stage with 2 batons in hand, put one down, twirl for the first half of the routine with one baton, then pick up the 2nd baton and finish the routine twirling 2 batons. While practicing for this routine, my instructor constantly alerted us to what to do "if you drop a baton". Basically what it came down to...if the baton was in a place that was reachable, pick it up ASAP and keep going. But...if it was too far away, you'd have to finish the rest of the routine with only 1 baton. "Fake it until you make it" was the mantra. But...as every dancer should know...we were supposed to keep on smiling! Make it look like it was supposed to be part of the show! For several months we were told what to do. Through practices...I caught every toss. The day of the recital came. We marched out onto the stage, set the other baton down, got ready for the first toss, TOSS....and my baton ended up on the other end of the stage. The next 30 seconds felt like a decade as I tried to keep a smile on my face, remember what I was supposed to do, bent down, picked up the 2nd baton, and glanced over at my friend to see where we were in the routine. I was mad.
After the show, my instructor came up to me. And gleamed with how quickly and seamless I had acted...with a smile still in tact. We always did our recitals at a local high school's theatre. The theatre director was an older man that seemed to never be satisfied with how things were done in the theatre. My instructor told me that after my baton drop and recover...the theater director had commented "man...she's GOOD!" I was prepared. Sure...it wasn't the most exciting situation. But I was prepared.
Same goes with anxiety. Be prepared. Know what to do. Know where to go. Know who to talk to. Just be prepared.
2. Look at things from a positive angle.
Anxiety is full of negative thought. This is the hardest thing to do, but one of my best ways to deal with my anxiety...is to try to think of things in a positive way.
When I was in high school, I remember one situation that happened during my ballet class. The class was given a basic center combination. We were to do one pirouette as a preparation...and then do 8 consecutive fouette turns. (If you don't speak ballet...look it up on YouTube). The music started. We did the pirouette. The first fouette went decently, the second didn't look too hot, by the fourth fouette, half the girls weren't even spinning a complete revolution...and by the eighth and final fouette...no one was anywhere near together. My dance teacher stopped the music and said "Well...how do you think that went?". And I responded "Well...we did the first 2 well!"
In the midst of anxiety...we have to see the glass as half full. You WILL get out of it. Every little step helps. No...maybe you really aren't created to be Wonder Woman and can do everything all the time. Do the first 2 fouettes correctly. Then strive to add more. Satan wants us to look at the 6 we did wrong. But Jesus wants us to look at the 2 we did RIGHT.
3. Don't say the C word
My old tap teacher was a very wise woman. And she had a BIG rule that we were expected to follow. We were not allowed to say the "C" word. What was the C word? CAN'T. As she explained to all her young dancers...you CAN...as long as you keep trying and keep practicing. She even had a consequence. We had to do push ups every time we said the C word. Sometimes it seemed...she had more faith in our abilities than we did.
When it comes to anxiety and depression, the devil wants us to say that we can't do things. We can't talk to that person. We can't find a place to look. We can't go another day. We can't eat. We can't sleep. We can't.
But with God...you CAN. If you're battling anxiety and depression...keep reminding yourself that you CAN.
Satan uses anxiety as a way to rob us of our joy. He wants to rob us of our passion to be one with Jesus Christ. And the more he can make you doubt, the more he can make you miserable, the more he can make you worry...the more he will try to pull you away from God. He's always there. Until the day that Jesus returns...he's always going to be there. The storm isn't going to end. You need to learn to dance in the rain. While it's going on. Don't just dance in the puddles. Dance during the storm.
There are so many other lessons that I could take from dance and from the stage to apply to this. But it all goes back to the same point.
Dance.
Be prepared
Be positive
And don't you dare say that you can't.
Just keep going. As another one of my favorite quotes says "practice makes perfect". The more you practice these techniques and others...the more easy they will come each time you hit a time of anxiety.
