Lessons From Inside the Fish

Strange name for a blog post. But (hopefully) by the end of this post...it will make sense.

But first...the moment everyone has been waiting for...my BIG news!

I GOT A NEW JOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You know, this has been something that I've been praying about for some many weeks and months. I've had others praying about it too. And in my heart and in my soul, I have been feeling and knowing that somehow, sometime, God was going to do something HUGE. I just didn't know what. Or when. So now...here's the REST of the story...about how this came about (and eventually...I'll explain where the fish reference comes from).

As noted earlier in this blog...things have been quite hairy for a while. At the end of the 2013-2014 school year, I had finished working a job in Toledo as a 5th grade teacher. As seems to be the story of my life more recently...things didn't quite work out the way I wanted them to. Ever since entering college to become a teacher, I've always had the thought in my mind that I'd want to teach the upper elementary grades...4th or 5th...maybe 6th. In the state of Ohio, though, the only way to accomplish that (or at least back in 2007 when I entered college and declared a major) is to go into middle school...which covers grades 4-9. I never wanted to teach "middle school" just the upper elementary. Fifth grade in Toledo seemed about right. But I struggled through that position. By the end of that year, I was beat. I felt like I'd failed. I felt like somehow I must have missed all the big DON'T DO IT signs in my life through college. And with my hopes and dreams still in ESL and going back to Thailand, I made the assumption that maybe...that was God's sign that it was time for me to get OUT of the teaching field.

So I chased down my next dream. To go to grad school and work on that masters in ESL. Everything seemed perfect...if it just worked out my way. Well...as I said was my luck...things didn't go quite my way. I never found the full time job I was hoping to find that would help pay my way through grad school. I was able to afford the first semester from the money I'd saved while working my last teaching job. But...without a full time position...there was not much chance I'd be making the payment to continue in the spring. I applied for jobs last summer...and was met many times with the cruel luck that I'd get so far into an application process...sometimes even just a couple steps away from a life-changing position...and then it would fall apart. It happened several times. I finally took on a part time retail position to at least be able to pay my car payment and insurance. I gave myself the prayer that "if this is something God wants me to do...He'll provide the way". He didn't provide the way. A few days before I was to start my second class of the spring semester, I emailed my advisors at the college and told them I had to withdraw from my second class due to not having enough money to pay for the class.

With grad school now out of the question...I started getting more "creative" of sorts with my job search. In my mind...staying in NW Ohio to attend grad school was somewhat limiting my job possibilities. Without grad school in the picture...the majority of the rest of the US opened up as potential places to look for jobs. Desperately searching for ANYTHING (but trying to stay out of education...at least in the "normal" sense) I started applying. I had looked into a couple online masters programs...mostly in higher education. So...at first I started my search in colleges and universities. Nothing. Not even one interview offer. After giving up on that option, I started looking a little more directly into the missions field. I looked into several missions organizations...nothing. I emailed the director of Asia's Hope...the organization that helps run the orphanages that our church supports...some nice advice...but no job offers. I turned my attention to other states. My mom's sister still had offered to help house me if I found a job near her in Virginia...or I was pretty sure my grandfather would do the same thing in his area. Nothing. One job I even offered to come in for an interview during vacation. Never heard from them. Feeling a bit defeated...I turned to North Carolina and started applying for jobs there....assuming I didn't move back to Charlotte...I would be able to afford to move there. Again...nothing. THEN I got the great idea to start applying for jobs in the children's ministry area at several churches. Many of those positions required no more than a bachelor's degree and several years of experience. I had a bachelor's in education and had been attending Grace for more than 10 years. Surely...THAT would get me something? I did get offered one or two interviews. But in the end...nothing.

And all this job searching was going on while I was working a part time retail job. Some days not even sure if or how I'd be able to afford to pay my car payment or insurance. Money was tight. I know as a Christian that money shouldn't be that big of an issue. But I'm not sure where to look in the Bible to find the answers for a "26 year old with a 4-year degree, living in her parents basement".

At the end of July, we went on vacation. One extremely glorious vacation. You see...jealousy and I had become pretty good buds recently. Somehow, in the year 2015, my mom has managed to go traveling I think 4 times since this year began. Me? My last vacation was last July when I went to go visit my relatives on my own. For the last 365 days, I had not left Ohio. As mom went to Thailand, the Outer Banks, a cruise, and to Virginia...I was kind of jealous. As a part time retail employee...I don't really get a "vacation" time. Basically...I can take a vacation...but it goes completely unpaid. I just don't get paid for a week. So...don't want to do that too many times. But I was desparate to get out of Ohio. So...I requested off a week for vacation between the end of July and beginning of August to go to Virginia to visit relatives.

It was a fun trip. But every night...I was back at it with applying for jobs. I remember at one point, before heading to bed at my grandpa's house...ending the night in tears. It seemed like every job...in every state...that I looked up had nothing. In frustration...I started praying...telling God "I don't know what to do anymore. I'm tired of doing this my way. What could your way possibly be?"

In the car on the way back to Ohio from VA, I again was searching for jobs. And I came across a job on Indeed.com. It was a teaching position...at a Christian school in the same county I live in. The job was almost a month old, so I had no idea if they were still even hiring for that position. As much as I didn't really want to look again into teaching, I thought that maybe if I found a good school...or just a different school...that things would be different. However, before I could even apply for that position...I had another hurdle to jump. My teaching license had expired. I had looked it up earlier (before it expired) on what to do to renew my license. Long story short...for the teaching license that I have, my only option was to extend the license for free for one year...or spend $80 to extend it for 2 more years. Sitting in the car, using what was left of my phone's battery power, I put in my application to the DOE in Ohio to do the 2 year extension (finding out along the way that somehow I had a $20 credit...so it only cost me $60). My application was approved less than an hour later.

When I got home from vacation...I applied for the position. Nothing. But that began my search again into teaching again. As I told my sweet assistant manager later...I started wondering...what if a career switch never was God's intended plan for my life? What if that was just me trying to make my life a little more comfy? What if God had always intended for me to stay in the education field? So I began my teaching job search again.

After one not-so-great day, I ended up applying for 4 jobs in one night. 1 job was for another higher education position at a local college, 1 was for a charter school I had actually applied for the summer I moved home from NC, the last 2 was for the same family of schools...but 2 jobs at 2 different locations. The next day I had 3 voicemails. Both of the schools from the same family had called me for an interview. I scheduled one interview for that Thursday and one for that Friday. I felt pretty good about the one on Thursday. But the one on Friday I went in for the interview...and they offered me the job while I was there!

For the last 2 weeks, I have been working 2 jobs...working my last 2 weeks as a part time retail employee, and putting in as many hours as possible trying to get things ready for a new teaching position. The cool thing about this school is that it specializes in teaching children with disabilities. And...it is a co-teaching position. I have an Instructional Aide working with me to provide smaller group settings to give my students more personal attention.


As I go looking back on this past year...that may not have been what I thought it would be...I started wondering. WHY did that even happen? If I was never intended to leave teaching....WHY did God let me stray for so long...before handing me another job...yet again...in record time?

For the last year or so...I have found the story of Jonah quite encouraging. A couple years ago, after moving back from NC, I actually had the hopes and plans to speak at my college alma mater's Christian organization. When asked what I'd talk about...I had loosely come up with a slight parallel of my life to Jonah's. But now...it seems even more obvious to me than before.

Now, before I go on to my parallel between me and Jonah, I'd like to throw a disclaimer that I don't always have the BEST Biblical knowledge. So...some of my thoughts and ideas may be slightly off. Also...for some Biblical references...my best knowledge comes from VeggieTales or other children's lessons. So some of my information may be a little...juvenile?

So...for a recap...the Sunday School version of the story of Jonah goes something like this. God had asked Jonah to go to a certain city to teach. Jonah didn't like that city...and decided not to do that. And walked in the exact opposite direction. He eventually hopped on a boat...with plans on going in a completely different direction. But a storm came. To lighten the load, the people on the boat started throwing things over. When that didn't help, they decided that OBVIOUSLY...someone had made their god very mad and that's why they were in such a pickle of an issue. So they cast lots (I actually heard a story of this from Adventures in Odyssey while driving back from VA...casting lots is a really weird thing). Guess who..."won"? Jonah! And they tossed him over the side of the boat. God sent a big fish to swallow him and he stayed there for a few days. And after those days were over, the fish spit Jonah back up onto dry land. And this time when God told Jonah to go...he went where he was supposed to go.

I think in my life...I've experienced this same idea...but not a legit "fish". God has used some chapters in my life to redirect me. For example...I think that my year in North Carolina was a "fish". I don't really know if a future in North Carolina was ever the intentions for my life. I sometimes wonder if I was so desperate for a job...that when the opportunity arose to also move FAR FAR AWAY from Ohio...I jumped on it. I sometimes wonder if I hadn't taken that job in NC and just stayed in Ohio...how things would be different? I turned away, I tried, I cast my lots...and lost...and 365 days later...God plopped me right back into the middle of NW Ohio.

But really...I think this past year was another time of redirection. This time...literally...I think I turned my back on what God had asked. I have the wonderful spiritual gift of teaching...and after a couple failed attempts...decided to do something else. My "boat" I hopped on...was grad school. I cast my lots about staying in grad school...and lost my own bet. But in a strange way...God sent this sweet little retail job as my "fish". And after several months...where did I get "spit" back up to...teaching!

In my own way...I believe that just as God sent a legit fish to keep Jonah safe...He's also used NC and now this retail job for the last year...as "fish" in my life. There are a few lessons I've learned from these two experiences...that I think Jonah also experienced while in the fish.

Here are my "Lessons from Inside the Fish":

1. It's Safe.

Jonah was in a fish while in the middle of a sea. He was safe. In North Carolina, I was in my own "sea"...of trying to figure out what to do about a job. But I was safe within the sweet people that God had put in my life at the time...my life group. And in this past  year...again...I was in a "sea" of financial and career-related uncertainties...but I was safe. When life was going crazy, I was in a safe place that God had strategically placed me in.

2. It May Stink.

For Jonah...literally. I don't really even like to eat fish...let alone live inside one for a few days. In both North Carolina...and this last year...I've been in some "stinky" situations between jobs and finances. Things seemed kind of stinky.

3. It Won't Last Forever

For Jonah...it was 3 days. For me...it was a year (each time). But out of 26 years of life...that isn't too bad. And it wasn't forever.

4. It Will Eventually Lead Back to God's Plan

Probably one of the biggest things I've learned over the last few years is trusting in God's plan. Everything happens for a reason...because God has it all under control. Why did I have to move 600 miles away from home, completely uproot myself...even find a new church....just to come right back a year later? Couldn't there have been an easier way for God to redirect me? Probably. But that was all part of God's plan. And why did God let me walk away from teaching, take on a retail job...just to plop me back into the teaching world again? Why couldn't I have just gotten a new teaching job last summer and skipped this past year? Not sure...but it was still all part of God's plan.


Friends, let me leave you with some words of encouragement. No matter what you may be going through...if it's what you thought you'd be doing or not...is not happening by chance. God has a bigger plan. Things will get better...this time won't last forever. And it's all part of His plan. It may stink...but you're safe where you are. Take some lessons from Jonah as he was sitting all alone in a fish. Perhaps the situation God has you in now...was the only way he was able to get your attention to redirect your path? Chin up, buttercup...God has you RIGHT where he wants you.